Icons of Misbehavior: Dorothy Parker Edition
January 2, 2025
Dorothy Parker was famous for her devastating wit, brilliant writing, and awful behavior. An icon of the 1920s, she was an irresistible mix of humour and despair: her superb writing helped put the New Yorker on the cultural map, she published several best selling books, she drank with Hemingway, Tallulah Bankhead, and Fitzgerald, and won two Academy Awards: but hers isn’t an entirely pleasant story. She was also a depressed alcoholic who attempted suicide twice, she endured domestic abuse, and during the Cold War she earned a spot on the Hollywood Blacklist (not to mention 900 pages of FBI documents) due to suspected communist sympathies. Books, movies, and spirits (not to mention the production company behind Gilmore Girls) have all been inspired by Dorothy’s unique blend of humor and darkness.
Watch Hannah’s Dorothy Parker GRWM
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Here are some of Dorothy Parker's finest moments:
1) When she went on one of her honeymoons, her editor at the New Yorker tried bothering her for some past due articles. She responded, “Too f***ing busy— and vice versa.”
2) A real estate agent showed Dorothy a very grand apartment. “Oh dear, that’s much too big,” she said. “All I need is room enough to lay a hat— and a few friends.”
3 ) She was fired from Conde Nast after she likened the wife of a major advertiser to a lady of ill-repute (Eva Tanguay). Dorothy was then forced to rent a lonely, out-of-the-way office to write in. When the signpainter came to add her name to the door, Dorothy requested that he instead label the door “Gentlemen” to ensure she’d at least get a few visitors.
4) Her affair with the writer Charles Macarthur resulted in pregnancy. Parker is alleged to have said, "How like me, to put all my eggs into one bastard”.
5) While Dorothy had her fair share of lovers, that didn’t stop her from being catty to other women who did. When she was told that a London actress had broken her leg, Dorothy remarked, “She must have done it sliding down a barrister.” On a similar occasion she said of an acquaintance, “You know, she speaks 18 languages— and can’t say no in any of them.”
6) Dorothy was the undisputed queen of the Algonquin round table, a collection of brilliant and famous writers, artists, and actors who’d meet at the Algonquin Hotel to socialize. On one occasion, Dorothy stood up from her seat at the table and said, “Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.” Then after a pause she said, “I really have to use the telephone, but I’m too embarrassed to say so.”
7) A writer who Dorothy thought borrowed heavily from her own work was describing his play to her. “It’s a play against all isms” he said. “Except plagiarism” she responded.
Here are some of her other great quotes:
- “A hangover is the wrath of grapes.”
- “I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.”
- “Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.”
- “Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.”
- “I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.”
- “Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.”
Dorothy also had a pretty dark sense of humor. At one point, a doctor told her that if she didn’t stop drinking she’d be dead within a month. “Promises, promises,” she replied.
She also had several suggestions for her epitaph. One, “Excuse my dust.” Another? “This is on me.”
By the time she died at 73, she was very much alone (except for her dear friend scotch), sadly having burned every bridge through cruel jokes, or drunkenness, or both. After her death, she left her entire estate to Dr. Martin Luther King Junior, and he in turn left her literary estate to the NAACP.
Cheers, Dorothy.
Sources consulted: The Little, Brown Book of Anecdotes by Clifton Fadiman. Bon Mots, Wisecracks, and Gags by Robert E. Drennan. The Portable Dorothy Parker by Dorothy Parker, edited by Marion Meade. Dorothy Parker: What Fresh Hell Is This? by Marion Meade, Smithsonian Magazine, Literary Hub, Encyclopædia Britannica.
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Read about Hannah's new book, How to Be a Better Drinker: Cocktail Recipes & Boozy Etiquette.
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